I don’t mention this often, but I have tried to kill myself, twice. In those moments after swallowing the pills (hours, the second time), I felt such relief, I was so thankful that it was finally all over. I waited with anticipation for the blackness, for the pain to finally stop. That’s how bad it got for me, I wasn’t seeking attention when I overdosed, I really wanted the freedom and comfort of death, I was just crap at it (and there was no internet for research in those days).

My mental health issues began in, and were caused by, my childhood. By my teens, I had such low self-esteem and was so traumatised, that I just ended up stumbling into more abusive and miserable situations – I seemed to attract it. I had anxiety, PTSD, and depression my whole life, and it wasn’t until my mid-20s that I felt safe enough to seek help.

Over the next 15 years I took numerous courses of therapy, from talking therapy, to CBT, and hypnotherapy. All of these helped me gain insight into why I felt so bad. I couldn’t accept any of it and move on though, and having to talk about it every session just kept it present in my thoughts.

What did help me accept all the things that had happened to me was mindfulness. Discovering mindfulness meditation and learning to be more present changed everything. I started gentle yoga too, which made me feel peaceful and calm.

I was 40 by now and was a lot less depressed but I was still angry and scared. Enter NLP. Neuro-Linguistic Programming was the first modality that allowed me to let go of these toxic emotions and breathe again at last. Finally, coaching helped me sit in a resourceful place and decide what I wanted to put in the space left when all the rage and fear had gone, it got me moving forward.

It took the best years of my youth to find the help I needed, and this was way too long. By then, I’d had children and they had to live a life limited by my anxiety, my husband was having to deal with my bouts of anger. I’m so grateful for my healing, and I know I got here as quickly as I could. But I want it to be quicker for other women, I want that help to be easier to find.

As I celebrate 5 years in business this month, I am re-doubling my efforts to reach as many hurting and harmed women as possible, to help them take back their lives and feel better. Whether it’s NLP or some other therapy, it’s time for women to put themselves first and seek help. If that’s you, just make a start – I promise it will be worth it.